Distrusting the Trust
When some people use everyone against you, you began not trusting people. You begin to see the best of Asian art as a trash. You realized that your environment was being made a hell while the façade seems okay and calm so that you’d be entrapped to a group of individuals. With this kind of system, no matter how you fall to the people or for the people whom you have been harassed, trust is no longer there, no matter what they do.
Love will always be there. Caring will never change. But trust is the most difficult to restore. There are even times that you are with people you care for. Yet, you need to withdraw from them when given the chance because there is something that plays in your mind right away. You always ask yourselves of their secret agenda over you. The thought is displeasing but simply, you call it as distrust. The feeling did not make you cautious over anything. It does not change the fact that you are a trusting “someone”. You are not that girl anymore who would consider an artwork for sale brilliant only because the seller told you so that it is. It is innate in you. It is you. But then, the feelings over them as to why love is being held back is that you get used to people who came to your life for their very own secret agenda while you were caring and trusting them. You imagine years of being excited being with people and approaching people only to find out later that they would be used to harass you underground. You were led to them which prior to your arrival, they were already informed of what to do and this was to mock you and insult you. Of whatever orchestration did such plot serve, all you knew was you have prayed for these people yet no trust will be ever restored for life.You love your family. You love your friends. You love the people around you. You know yourself as how pro-people you are. But things changed from all these underground attack and harassment. All you care for now, is yourself and the angel sent to you by God, it is your son. Then you realize, the innate behaviour, attitude, and character of someone can be changed in an instant by as to how the people in your surrounding treat you. But when you come to think of it, it feels good somehow to be emotionally detached to your surrounding because only then that you can focus in yourself and be the best of Asian art from the foundation that people are not even worth your kindness. And as much as you want to disgust yourself with such thought, you can justify it with, “that it is what they planted.”.
